Somehow, i don't know how, i get the feeling that i'm making everyone hate me. How come i always screw up the start of the year?

I screwed up my cello lesson last week.
I hope i'm not going to screw up the one tomorrow.
I prac more that what i did for last week's lesson.
But not as much as i promised i would.
I did lost of the piece.
I can almost play at the same speed as i'm supposed to.
But i didn't memorized it.
And my intonation sucks.
And i didn't do much scale.
I hope i don't screw up my exam.
I can't do oral.
I can't do sight reading.
I don't think i can pass.
Shit.
My mom says she's not going to let me continue learning the cello if i fail.
Shit.
I think i'm gonna screw up.
Shit.
If i fail i'll die.
I'll probably have to change cca or something.
Shit.
I'll be more screwed than the time i lost my phone.
Crap.
Carp.
Fish.
Okay, it's getting out of point.

My new com spoiled again.
Cos of the noton ghost program
My dad downloaded.
Not my fault.
But he's telling me to fix it.
I'm gonna let my bro do it.
But he's not home.

I yelled at my grandma today.
Cos my mom did something that pissed her off.
My grandma told me to scold my mom
cos they don't talk to each other.
if i did i'll get scolded by my mom
cos she don't admit that she's wrong.
but actually she's scolding my grandma.
but i have to listen to all that.
when my grandma did something wrong.
my mom tells me to scold her.
cos they don't talk to each other.
I'll get scolded by my grandma
cos she don't admit that she's wrong too.
And i ask myself.
WHY ME?

It's been a long day.
i'm tired.
And pissed.
So i can't write proper sentences
and it makes me even more pissed.

I'm feeling pretty screwed up recently. I didn't practice my cello much, and have been pissing my teacher off recently. Then last lesson she told me that she's gonna kick me out of her lesson and tell my conductor to find me another teacher if i don't practice. I don't dislike her, she's much better than my piano teacher, but she's just... blur? The week before last she told me that i'm gonna have lesson at sun, 12, and when i went there she told me that she never receive my message confirming that i'm going so she's not in. I sent the message, and i have proof.
Then there's so much going on in CCA, they bombarded my email account with so many emails. I didn't go for CCA for a long time because i was overseas. so i really don't know what's going on. Then there's a lot of stuff to do, and i'm confused.
A couple more reasons, but on the whole i'm feeling pissed.

Woo hoo. In an IQ test i scored 137 :D getting 25/30 correct answers. Yeah, not perfect score, but who cares? Hey, i'm half asleep now. I woke up at 7 and now its 00.22

I can't believe I haven't posted all holiday... ... never mind. I've been listening to Sick Puppies' songs recently, but i'm unable to get their songs online. Even if i can i some time feel very guilty. After all, getting the songs from the net is illegal and it's bad. The authors don't benefit from it. Today was rather boring, school, a couple of old games, then did a bit hw, then watched TV. Not a very nice start for the first day of the term. Never mind, these things will never change, so there's not point talking bout them. I went to watch Narnia, Prince Caspian during the holidays. I can't really remember what was in the book so i don't really have any comments, but one thing i hate about the Narnia series is that they try so hard, they fight so hard, but in the end Aslan comes and save everyone. "YAY". Some parts of the Narnia is really illogical, like when they grow old in Narnia but when they return to their original world their thinking was still the same as before. Hey, even if ur physical body changed, your mind didn't right? They could still remember what they did in Narnia after all. I've found out recently (I know I'm slow...) that i am the logical type of person. I don't like illogical things. I have a habit of creating a story in my head since very young, and i have been insisting to be as logical as i could have been. I like english, but my english isn't very good. To me, english is the illogical type of thing. In school i'm better at things that actually require logic, like Math and Science. I like math, really. I like the satisfaction i get when i solve a really hard problem. I'll stop here for now, I'll continue some time later (I know I'm talking to the wall. No one has ever visited this blog)

Improvements

Well my life isn't as bad as before, and i finally understood what my seniors meant when they say that your life will get so stressful your CCA would be a way to destress. Back when i was in primary school my school work was not stressful at all my CCA seemed to be stressful, but now, school work is so much more stressful that my cca my cca seemed so relax. my friend lost her phone today, but some honest HCI guy returned it to her. Life isn't fair. i lost my phone a week ago and no one returned it to me, while my friend lost her phone today, and that guy returned it to her today... ... Sighs

Stressed Out

I'm sorta sick and tired of my life. I mean -- i keep losing my things and stuff like that. i lost my watter bottle, then my watch, then my phone. and after that, i borrowed my mom's phone and sorta spoiled it. all those ridiculous things that are happening in my life is giving me more stress than my school work. back when i was 12 i didn't face so much stress even thought i had to face a major exam. even the day before the exam i did not feel much stress. but now -- i'm sec 1 and i'm feeling so much more stress. i don't know why everything bad seemed to happen at the same time. i am going to meet my cousin on sunday and i have to do a project on saturday, meaning that i would have to skip my tution and cello lesson. normally i would have changed my cello lesson to sunday but i'm going out... ... my parents insist that i can only go if my cello teacher confirms that the lessons are charged by how many you go, not how many there are in a month... ... i lost my phone, spoiled the second one... ... how on earth am i suppose to contact her

I WILL BE DEAD MEAT BY TOMORROW

don't expect some pieces over here. i'm writing about my life, and yes, i'm no better than dead. I LOST MY PHONE. my parents have warned me over and over again not to loose my phone or i won't get a new one cause my current phone cost about 200++ sgd. if i'm not dead, what am i? they will find out sooner or later that i lost my phone. i'm still wishing that i will be able to find it tomorrow. i knew that i was still with me when i went to the computer lab with my friend today, as i was still playing my game on the phone, but i couldn't remember what happened after that. i might have left it in the computer lab, lost it on the way to my classroom, or simply left it in my classroom. i went to the computer lab after school to look for my phone, bu tit was locked. so there is still this little amount of chance that it is still in the computer lab. if i lost it on the way to my classroom, i would say i just got a free ticket to hell, as there is almost 0% chance of getting it back. the possibility that i left it in class is about 10 or 20% as my friend called my phone when we were standing outside the classroom (it was locked) and we heard nothing. so what's going to happen to me? i don't know. i'm rather surprised that i am still tying in 'proper' (i'm being as proper as i can be) english. normally, if i'm feeling as pissed as i am now, i wuld b typin liddat.